What do I need? What is enough?
Lifelong questions to find our own success and sustainability
Tension naturally exists in the pursuit of our ambitions, especially if we want to live fully while maintaining our well-being.
We want, yet wonder, “What do I really need, and what is enough?”
We put in effort, yet question, “Can I rest?”
I explore these tensions in the last podcast episode of my summer book series, inspired by the two-book series by Becky Chambers called Monk & Robot. I don’t usually read science fiction, but I devoured these books for the topics they explore and the questions they ask, questions worth pondering. As Chambers introduces in each, the books are for “anybody who doesn’t know where they’re going…” and “for anybody who could use a break….”
The books made me think about how we view success. They reminded me that success is a construct and we’ve defined it differently throughout history and across cultures, as demonstrated on this fictitious planet in the book that is governed by different dominant and societal narratives than we live in today. And yet, even in the utopian society, a character sets off on a journey longing for more.
We can choose to do the same—to create our own definition of success and align to what we believe we need and what is enough.
This isn’t just about consumption and owning things. This is about what makes us feel whole, content, satisfied. As Chambers writes, “We have wants and ambitions beyond physical needs. That’s human nature as much as anything else.”
We can have longings. But for what?
That’s what happens in the book. The protagonist finds themself dissatisfied despite having purpose in their work and a good life. We may find ourselves in a similar situation. And yet, we too long for more which can pull us into a quest, just like the characters in the book, looking for more. There’s no judgment around this. Often there can be, and yet we’re better served looking at it with curiosity.
So if we are feeling this longing, it can be helpful to pause and inquire:
What is it that I’m truly longing for?
What would be satisfying to me at this time?
What do I need at this moment?
How can I be content?
Do I truly need something or am I creating my own suffering?
Make note that what you may be feeling is a call to rest. The books explore what it is to sustain ourselves and if it’s acceptable to do so. Do we have to earn a pause, a respite?
The character Dax says:
“You don’t have to have a reason to be tired. You don’t have to earn rest or comfort. You’re allowed to just be. I say that wherever I go. … But I don’t feel like it’s true, for me. I feel like it’s true for everyone else but not me. I feel like I have to do more than that. Like I have a responsibility to do more than that.”
The books don’t provide the answers, and rightly so. These are lifelong questions, best answered individually. We live them. We find our own way.
You might ask now and again in the future: What is success for me? What is my ambition at this time? What will satisfy and fulfill me now? What will sustain me?
We will continually question our own needs to know what is enough for each of us.
I so appreciate you pulling in character voices to name the very common human longing for more and playing with the question of “what’s enough?” I think about how much more ease humans would feel if we let both be true at the same time. “I want more. And right now this is enough.”